Brandon Ditto
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Welcome to my blog of duality!

The concept behind this blog is simple. On the left are the words about my life. On the right are the words about popular culture in America. The reason I chose the left side for personal life is because the left hemisphere of the human brain controls bodily functions such as the heart beating, digestion, etc. The right hemisphere of the human brain controls functions related to Movies, Music, and TV Shows.

Personal Life
I Am Sorry December 6th, 2009

My previous post crossed the line. I was trying to be funny and make myself seem like I have schizophrenia. However, many people sent me messages on Facebook, such as my parents, who were very worried that I was depressed. I had to tell them that I am actually happy and enjoying my life very much--which is a complete lie! HAHAHA! I'm kidding! I love life.

I'm sorry I got everyone all worked up. I know you guyz could have been doing better things on Facebook than sending me worried messages. Though I have to admit, I did like the attention. It was almost enough to keep me from killing myself for a while. LOL. Again, I'm kidding.

Because of all this drama, my family and friends suggested I start reading the Bible. The past month I have been doing just that and let me say, it's opened my mind to a whole new perspective. It's not all that stupid, boring, old stuff it's made out to be. It's real life issues that are still relevant today. There's this one part where they don't abort a baby (the part when baby is born, and they don't say anything about aborting it.). There's another part where gay peopled don't get married (this was the part of the book when the people who got married were a male and a female). These are important issues in the book that are still relevant to today's society and it's great debates!

I also learned that you have to be nice to other people, which is a concept that I wouldn't have intuitively developed being a human. My favorite aspect of the Bible was when the book would talk about "living for God." It think it's neat to live for something bigger than us. I've always wondered why humans desire to live. It's not for the same reason all other species of life pursue existence--It's because we love God.

I AM KIDDING! HAHAHAHA! I DON'T LIKE THE BIBLE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! TRICKED YOU ALL!!!

Comments

Erica Thompson I don't like this post! I think you're making fun of my beliefs! Who are you to say what people should and should not believe in! Faith helps people through hard times! Religion is basically just a more structured form of OPTIMISM!

Brandon Ditto HAHAHAHA! You're sooo stupid and naive! Religion is dumb, you idiot! We were never friends! I was pretending this whole time that I believed in GOD! It was all an elaborate HOAX to trick you into becoming my friend! It was a 3 part plan... 1. Say that I believed in God one time to you 2. Say I like the Bible one time to you 3. Say that I believe in God a second time. This was all over the course of several years. You had no idea! I wanted to break it to you another way, but it seems as though I blew my cover through this post; A mental lapse on my part, seeing as you visit this blog quite often (based on the quantity of follow-up posts you write).

Erica Thompson You clever snake, you! You definitely got the best of me. I LOL'd big time when I thought back to those instances when you said you believed in God. Who would have thought you were just saying those things all in an elaborate attempt to become my friend then stop being my friend. You really are an evil genius. I respect you in that sense, but we can't be friends anymore. My friends have respect for my beliefs.

Brandon Ditto HAHAHAHA! Are you really still talking, you ignorant twit!? Can't you see it's over? I hate you! Someone please remove this imbecile from my site (pun intended).

Karen & James Ditto Brandon, this isn't why we gave you the Bible! We wanted you to believe in it with us! We felt really dumb just believing in it by ourselves. Dang it! Erica said it best... You are one evil bastard. What's worse is that you're undoubtedly a genius; A combination not to be taken lightly! If we weren't so stupid, we might have foreseen this. We truly are complete idiots. We hate ourselves so much right now.

Brandon Ditto Hello, Mother. Hello, Father. How do you feel knowing that this whole month I was pretending to read the Bible? Indeed, this deception could have only been executed by an evil genius such as myself. What's next for a mind that is so sharp, so perceptive, and oh-so evil? Sky's the limit! My next deception will surely be of pure malice, that much I reveal.

Natalie Dechiara LOL, Brandon, that was awesome!

Brandon Ditto Shut up. I don't need your flattery!

Natalie Dechiara FINE! I never wanted to post here to begin with. You're just an elitist a**hole!

Brandon Ditto ...T'is the comment I would expect of a a simpleton. It's a pity really. I could have pretended to be your friend for a bit longer to use you in another one of my deceptions. Now run along and play, child!

John Young Why are you being such a dick? Maybe this isn't actually the REAL Brandon! Could it be that someone hacked his website and posted this? Find out next week on BrandonDitto.com!


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Lovin' Life October 31st, 2009

It's been a really long time since my last post! You'd think the troops in Iraq would be home by now! HAHAHA. I'm kidding. Global Warming might happen in between when it started and when I made this post! LOL. JOKESSS. The US will have gotten a black president! HAHA; YEAH RIGHT! Wait... >_> <_<. The United States did get a black president! Barrack Obama.He's my favorite president so far. I guess you could say I'm not racist cuz I like him. I'm kind of modest about my anti-racism so I'll stop here. Enough about Popular Culture! THIS BLOG SECTION IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ME! SHOULD'VE PUT THIS ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE BLOG! Cuz that's the side for stuff about Popular Culture. LOL. Maybe I will put it over there. No, Brandon. Shut up about it.

I'm really happy right now at this point in my life. I love my friends and family and all the support they've given me here on the website. Your guys' comments are always so thoughtful and hilarious! I love you guys so much!

Other than loving friends and family, everything else about my life is going really well. Last night when I went to sleep I was thinking about how much I loved my friends. So the bed time part of my life is going really well in that respect. At work, I'm friends with everyone. It's really great to work with people you get along with. Hmmm... Other parts of my life... The parts when I'm by myself are really sad! Awww. Brandon! You said you weren't going to talk about this part! Well, I'm going to! HAHAHA! It's not that it's all that bad. During these parts I get to think of love and friendships and family. What else do you do? I don't want to say that! You should; they're your friends. STOP TYPING ON MY KEYBOARD! Can't you just delete all of this? I could but then they wouldn't know about it. So you do want to tell them? Yeah, I guess so... Well... sometimes when I'm by myself I pretend things. What things? You know; things. ... I just like to pretend I'm really powerful. I accidentally kill all of my friends and family with my powers. It's hard to explain. I'm pretending constantly that I'm in a movie. The stuff I'm actually doing is apart of the movie in addition to the stuff I make up. I'm given powers (I haven't fully fleshed this idea out. It's pretty ambiguous.) and I can't control them (still have yet to flesh this out) and I accidentally kill everyone that's close to me. I cry all the time because I'm alone. That's the main part of the movie. I cry in my movie and in real life. They happen at the same time. It's just funny how I can pretend things and feel real emotions.It's like I'm actually sad! HAHA. That's so stupid. I have friends and family but no girl friends. I'm very happy and thankful to Jesus for everyone around me.

I'm not really sure why I brought it up. Seems kind of stupid. I guess you could say I'm a genius, because I have created such a visceral world in my head. I don't think I am though.

Comments

Erica Thompson I love this post sooo much! I love you too! I didn't really understand the end of the post. You seem really creative though.

Brandon Ditto Hehe... Yeah. I guess I am.

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Book VS. Street-Smarts September 20th, 2009

I'm not really the kind of guy that can read through a schoolbook and understand the stuff instantly. I hated math as a kid. I sucked really bad it. I'm terrible at grammar and spelling too. I just don't give a crap. Conversely, there are all these dang nerds who understand everything cuz they studied in all of their free time. This leads me to believe there are two types of people in this world. You got the people who are Book-Smart (kids who got all A's) and then people like me who just have a kind of common sensibility (Street-Smarts). Put a Book-Smarts person on the street and forcibly make them get into to a fight and they won't know what to do. But me, I can handle myself in a fight. I'm also good at talking my way out of sticky situations.

I'm trying to think of an example...

Okay, so this one time in like 6th grade it was my turn to read in front of the class or some s*** and I was having a hard time reading fast (I had Street-Smart things on my mind like getting girls.). A few of the boys started laughing at me. My eyes watered and a few drops went down my face. I was a kid for christsakes! ... wait ... 8th grade cuz Matt Jordan came to our school in the last year of middle school and he was in that class ... Like I was saying, I was only a kid. One of the boys in the class said I was crying to another boy. That's when my Street-Smarts kicked in and I said something like, "Lick my balls!" ...or like, "Suck my dick you fool,"or something to that effect. Long story short, I had to go to Principal's office. I talked my way out of it by making fake tears and making up crap like I was embarrassed by the boys (LOL. That's funny thinking about it now. I can't believe he bought that bull crap.).

You see, someone who is Book-Smart wouldn't know what to do in that situation. Math doesn't have an equation were Y= 'a clever comeback'. There also isn't a specific instance in History where George Washington (me) fake-cried to Abraham Lincoln (the Principal) so as not to go to war (call my Mom and get in trouble at home).

All I'm saying is when I get into my first fight (god forbid), I'm going to know what to do. I have common sense. Smart people don't.

Comments

Erica Thompson I've been thinking a lot about this kind of thing too! There's like people who can study a ton and get good grades, but the second they gotta do something that actually requires common sense, they can't just go and pull out a formula or an equation (like you said). I'm a Street-Smarts person for certain.

Veronica Pruitt I would say I'm definitely Street-Smart because I have common sense.

Haley Burk I'm Street-Smart too!

Erica Thompson STFU. You're studying all the time! I hate how you get such good grades in a high school and in the college!

Haley Burk HAHA! Erica! I don't study that much!


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DRUGS! Huh? RANDOM! August 27th, 2009

Hey, everybody! It's been a while since my last post. I must be on drugs or some **** like that, LOL! Anyway, just thought I'd give you all an update on my life at the moment. Right now I've been playing a lot of video games. HAHAHA! I'm sooo lazy! I must be smokin' pot or something! I'm kidding! I've been playing a lot of the new NCAA 2008 (Ok, it's not brand new, but it's fairly recent.). Besides, I can still play as Brett Favre, since he was still in college in 2007 (I know what you're thinking... The game says it's 2008! Well, us video game/Sports nerds would only know that rosters in Sports games are always from the year previous to the title year; if that makes any sense. LOL.) I probably sound like I'm on drugs or some s*** like that.

I've been working a lot recently! Some of these people I meet on the job... I swear you'd think they were on drugs! They gotta be crackheads LOL. Seriously, some of them are so weird. This one guy was trying to say something to me and I just could not understand what he was saying! In my head I'm thinking... THIS GUY MUST BE SMOKIN' SOMETHING!

Comments

Erica Thompson OMG! That was sooo funny. Veronica and I laughed sooo hard for like an hour. I just think it's so funny when you talk about drugs. You don't see it coming! It's just all of the sudden you just say something about drugs out of nowhere. Drugs are just funny in general cuz they f*** you up! LOL.

Karen Ditto I think it's really funny too, Erica. I'm glad Brandon doesn't actually take drugs. He'd act so weird! HAHAHA. I mean it really does paint a funny picture in your head when you think about people taking drugs!

Brandon Ditto Mom! You're embarrassing me on my website! Stop it. Next you'll be talking about when I was baby and how I was naked sometimes as a baby! It's sooo embarrassing!

Randall Cooper Dude, WTF! You say the craziest stuff sometimes.You need meds! LOL.


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First Words July 17th, 2009

Welcome to my Wordz section! Since this is my very first post and my first time using BlogCreator 2.0 software for the Mac OS X operating system, so I may have some difficulties. For the time being, I can only input up to 250 characters. I need to figure out how I can write more.

Comments

Erica Thompson Awesome first post. I really like how you said that you made this blog with BlogCreator 2.0. It's just nice to know exactly how people make things like this. I don't know the first thing about making websites!

John Young Under preferences for BlogCreator there is the BlogFormat tab. Click on that tab and you should be able to change the Post Size.

Brandon Ditto Thanks, John. That seemed to work!


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Popular Culture
Slut Reviews November 1st, 2009

This is kind of a joke! I just thought it would be funny to list sluts who are only popular cuz they don't eat and promote an unhealthy image of what women are supposed to look like.

Britney Spears - She is so skinny! It's disgusting and she's a slut because of that. There is no woman who is actually this skinny.

Halle Berry - One word: "EAT!"

Jennifer Lopez - This girl needs to eat! She's so gross!

Kim Kaudishirans - SEE 'Jennifer Lopez'

Michelle Branch - Write your own music! You're just like every other popstar who is only there to look pretty and skinny. I hate how popular she is right now.

Mandy Moore - Real women aren't this skinny. Every woman is kind of fat. There aren't actually skinny girls in the world. It's unhealthy to think that some women are skinny. I can't think of a better example of a complete slut here in late 2009 (especially her being so popular right now) that creates an unattainable body image in the minds of young girls than the late Mandy Moore. Disgusting. Absolutely grotesque body. It really makes me gag when I think about how skinny she is. Total slut.

Comments

Jordan Sparks This is hilarious! I completely agree with these 'Slut Reviews.' Women aren't skinny. Ever. These aren't real women.

Beyonce What are they then?

Jordan Sparks I don't know. They're unrealistic... images... of what women are supposed to look like.Shut up, skinny slut!

Beyonce CHUBBY SLUT!

Jared Leto Ladies! Calm down. I'm in a Band and I'm also in Movies. That means I know a lot about the entertainment business. I see a lot of different kinds of women. A lot of which are skinny. But sometimes I see fat ones that aren't in the Movies or the Musics. I think it's ok that there are skinny women and chubby women. We are all unique in our own ways. I think it's beautiful.

Jordan Sparks Heh. You know what? You're not too dumb for a GUY.

Beyonce Jared. You really do live up to your persona. You're very wise. Perhaps it's because you're apart of more than one entertainment industry. I'm only apart of the Musics. I wouldn't know the first thing about being in a Movie.


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Movie Reviews September 9th, 2009

Hey, everybody! I decided to make some movie reviews for some of the movies I've been renting/watching in theatres recently.

Without a Paddle(**** stars)

Ok, this movie is absolutely hilarious. It stars Zach Braff, Seth Green, and Johnny Noxville.The plot is that Johnny Noxville's character keeps telling Seth Rogen's character that they should bring a paddle with them on their camping trip. Seth Rogen's character says how stupid that sounds and then they go camping. Throughout the whole movie there are all these instances where they could use a paddle, and Johnny Noxville hilariously says, "I TOLD YOU TO BRING A F****ING PADDLE!" It's so funny the way he says it. Zach Braff has the funniest lines in the movie with quotes such as, "Huh? What the heck was that!", "You're dead meat!" and, "Yeah...That sounds retarded!" I definitely recommend this movie to people who like comedy movies.

Bruno (* star)

This movie was sooo gay. It seriously crossed the line. I almost got out of the theater when they showed Bruno's weiner. I'm not a homophobe, but it was seriously too gay. The only funny part was when Bruno said he was gay to this one guy and the guy just didn't know what to say! I wouldn't recommend this movie. It's not really that funny and there is just too much gay stuff in it.

Transformers: Rise of the Cobra (*** stars)

Maybe it's because I didn't see the first movie, but I was so confused going into this. Basically the first part of the movie was a jumbled mess of storyline details about some organization called COBRA, etc. From what I gather the COBRA in the first movie were destroyed or something to that degree. Now they're rising up to overtake the Autobots once again. It's a convoluted story to say the least. The last half of the movie is where it really picked up and made this a 3 star movie for me. The action was really intense and the battle scenes were really well made. I have to say this is the best CG I've ever seen. It was absolutely spectacular action. There was this scene where the Autobot guy tried to kill the COBRA leader and did it really awesome. If you can just imagine it. While I didn't like the story, I would recommend this movie if you like action movies.

Comments

Seth Green Yeah, Without a Paddle is definitely my favorite movie you reviewed, and it's not just because I'm in it. Zach Braff's comedic genius is in full-force and it's spectacular to watch. It was a pleasure to work with him too because everyone just feeds off of his hilariousness and happy-go-lucky attitude.

Zach Braff Dude, Seth, thanks, man.

Jared Leto I know I wasn't in any of these movies; nor did I make any of the music for them, but I have to say these are great movies. I don't know why you didn't enjoy Bruno. It's a really funny movie. Maybe you just have a different taste in humor. That doesn't really make sense though because we both like Without a Paddle.

Brandon Ditto That's a really interesting realization you brought up. I think humor is something that you can't really explain; something almost... magical, so I don't think we'll ever really understand why someone doesn't think something is funny while another does.

Jared Leto That has got to be the best analysis of 'humor' I've heard yet. I mean you really can't understand what makes people laugh. Like you said it's almost, 'magical.'


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Music news July 18th, 2009

Music is gaining in popularity all over the world, causing Movies to get a bit less popular.

Comments

Michelle Branch That's really awesome, especially since I'm in the music industry.

Dianne Keaton This isn't good news for me, though. I'm in the movie industry.

Jared Leto You guys need to calm down. I'm kind of indifferent about this. Maybe it's because I'm in both industries (Music and Movies).

Brandon Ditto I think it's interesting to see all these different perspectives! You'd think that Music gaining in popularity would be a good thing, but it actually might affect some people adversely. Then there are people who are in a gray area, like Jared Leto, who would not really gain anything. One industry getting more popular would increase his profit in that industry but decrease profit in the other. Therefore, he wouldn't really make money, but he wouldn't lose any either. That's probably why he has an indifferent view. Okay, that may have sounded insanely complex! LOL Thanks for the posts, guys!


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